Chapter Fideen : Tay


"Whoa whoa. I’m so sorry sir", I blurted out as the front of my hover car grazed a man’s freshly pressed linen suit. The ceiling of my car had gone missing and the wind rippling through my waves made the whole vehicle more aerodynamic. Stopping the hover car had become difficult to say the least, but I had to be careful. I’m in front of the biggest club in Los Atlanta and everyone is watching.

When I exited the car, rose petals fell from the sky, as they always had for years. I’m not sure why this happens. It has been an unsolved medical/paranormal phenomenon.

That’s when through the red petals and camera flashes and panties and chicken thighs being thrown at me…I saw her…



"Why are they throwing chicken and panties?" I asked my bodyguard Lance. "He always gets chicken and panties thrown at him. He’s the man.", he said.

I’ll never understand America. Where I’m from women get more attention than men. I did all those aerial squats for nothing! Who was this guy anyway? Look at him. Sucking up all the light like…like…I wished I knew more English metaphors.

None of these stars impress me. All these rappers and ball players and train confectionery treat entrepreneurs (supposedly a very lucrative business) have all tried to get my attention. I play interested, but I know none of this impresses me. Even flying cars. 

Whoa. Why did I even just think that. I now see this man, and my brain just lets out a huge fart. My mind goes blank as a wall. Hey, an English metaphor.


I’m usually cool, calm and in control. Ok, I’m always cool and calm. Ok I’m lying, I’m calm, at least. I had to learn how to be early on. I’ve transformed my shyness from my younger years to a mysteriousness. Girls liked that. But that was all being thrown away. When I saw her…

That big ass afro.

Those big thighs.

That dark skin.

I don’t know if it was just the smell of chicken in the air; but all those boyhood feelings surged from my fingertips, up through my chest, into my mouth and grabbed my tongue. I couldn’t speak.

And now she sees me.

We stand there looking at each other on the red carpet. It’s like some samurai showdown. Each waiting for some type of reaction from the other.


Please say something un-American and sweet


She got a big booty. I should call her big booty.


I’ma make me a three piece meal from that carpet chicken.


I won’t let this go away. I literally shake the heebie jeebies out of my arms, open my mouth and I say…

 …To Be Continued

(Now I’m more satisfied with my story).

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    1. Amara Santos
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    'she got a big booty. I should call her big booty.
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